Do you act on instinct?

I act on instinct.  My instincts have always worked for me.  I have always trusted them.

One definition of the word ‘instinct’, from the Oxford Dictionaries, is ‘A natural or intuitive way of acting or thinking’ – instinct/intuition.  So this is something natural in us, and in animals, it would seem, and if my instincts are screaming that something is wrong – what should I do?

My instinct/intuition has become much stronger the older I have become and I have much more confidence in it and feel better able to justify it these days, but, when my daughters were younger, I found it hard to get them to understand why I had a bad feeling on the odd occasion, about them going out at night, or a certain boy they might be seeing.  Sometimes, it would be an urgent need to sort an issue out, or to telephone someone, who we would then find out were having bad times. Other times it would be to go and face-off the parent of someone who had hurt my children, whilst, at other times, knowing to let it go. It is hard to explain but, in me, it is like a huge internal itch in my chest that won’t go away until I have dealt with a situation which I feel is serious enough to act on.

Sometimes, situations are easy to deal with.  Remembering that my own dad offering my sister a kitten, if she finished with what he considered an ‘unsuitable’ boyfriend, was a successful ploy (in fact I think my sister still prefers kittens to men ha ha), I did something similar when one of my, money strapped, daughters was seeing a very idle youth who was making her feel inadequate (she was about 15 at the time). “I’ll give you £5.00 if you dump him,” I said.  “OK!” she said, and she did. Then she moved on to another (not much better) boyfriend, but at 18 she met the boy of her dreams and they now have a lovely family.  Neither of them pined for the ex-boyfriend – it shows how easily you can get stuck in a fur-lined rut.  I get a cold chill when I consider how her future fortune could have changed had I not offered her that fiver.  The wasted time on wasted boyfriends can, and will, shape your future, girls, I firmly believe this is true!

This morning, my youngest daughter and I went to her wedding dress fitting appointment.  I looked at her looking so beautiful in her dress, and I couldn’t help but feel how ready she is, now, to take her own road. Seeing her delighting in these preparations to be with the man she is with now – I ‘know’ she is doing the right thing.  For ten years she was with someone who I ‘knew’ wasn’t right for her.  She understood and listened to my concerns, but it was a complicated situation that she was not prepared to walk out on, or ‘give up’ purely for her own sake, or without good reason – she needed to give it her best try, which she did. It was with mixed relief and sadness when she finally left her previous partner, because my grandchildren would inevitably suffer, though, and hard enough as that is, I could not be happy to see my own child stay in a relationship that was not good for her. I had always known it wasn’t right, and I had always made my views known, but I respected her choices and supported her in the best way I could.  But I now ‘know’ she is on the right path and I can be joyous in these preparations with a full and happy heart.

So, how much action should we take if we have bad feelings about something?  Well, this is the hard bit.  If you genuinely love someone, I believe you should try to make your views known, and the worries you have, without demanding action on their part. The fact that you have indicated where you stand on the matter, is a clear enough beacon for them to run towards you if/when things do fall apart.  I believe it is better to try to open peoples’ eyes to mistakes they ‘may’ be making, even though it makes one look a miserable so-and-so, because otherwise we are allowing them to walk down a path of pain which might be unnecessary, I feel it is a duty of ‘care’. In my experience, if your actions are balanced with love and understanding, those you love will not reject you for standing up for something you believe in, at least not in the long run.

If something is good, it works all round and is generally accepted by those around us who love us.  But instinct/intuition is a powerful tool which shouldn’t be ignored.  I would rather be looked at with disdain by my family than not let them know that I feel worried about something.  Whether they respond to my warnings is not my issue, but giving them the ‘heads up’ is.

Instinct/intuition is acting or thinking on something unseen or not clearly understood.

I have chosen The Moon to illustrate this blog.  

The Moon card represents times when we cannot see things as clearly as we can in The Sun – they may be real fears, or they may be imaginary – because the dark holds unknown threats, but The Moon would advise us to stay alert, try to make sense of what we can see and don’t make assumptions about what we can’t. But, more importantly, to trust in our instincts/intuition because without them we are floundering helplessly around in the dark.

Blessings

Patricia